Category: Sports

A long and proud tradition of Australian excellence in international diplomacy

SCREAMING BLUE MURDER The Fiver didn’t get where it is today peddling lazy national stereotypes, even if our didgeridoo-playing, Ramsay Street-dwelling, stubby-swilling, shrimp-throwing, strewth-saying Australian cousin G’day Mate Crocodile Dundee Fiver and assorted other foreign cousins might disagree. Truth is, G’Day Mate and his compatriots have more important things to worry about at the moment, […]

As much chance of jumping out of the way as the Giant’s Causeway

THE (BAD) LUCK OF THE IRISH Despite all Switzerland’s huffing and puffing on Thursday night, they seemed increasingly frustrated by their failure to blow Norn Iron 1-0’s Windsor Park fortress down. While enjoying 99% of the possession they seemed to be doing very little with it, so it was left to Romanian referee Ovidiu Hategan […]

A prevailing mood in Italy of pessimistic panic

NOT SO ACE VENTURA The year 1958 featured several milestones. The EEC came into being. The first successful American satellite, Explorer 1 was launched into orbit. Women were allowed sit in the House of Lords for the first time. Milestones, the studio album by jazz trumpeting’s self-styled Prince of Darkness, Miles Davis was released and […]

Booting any pawn, bishop or rook near them as far as is humanly possible

GOALS ARE UNDER-RATED These are exciting times for the kind of people who pretend watching scoreless draws isn’t mind-numbingly boring, preferring to pretentiously liken them to chess matches … which of course aren’t tedious to watch at all. Following competitive goal-free, drear-draws between Honduras and the Sheilaroos, Denmark and the Republic O’Ireland, New Zealand and […]

Oh Ireland!

WHEN IRISH EYES ARE CRYING Republic O’Ireland manager Martin O’Neill is never slow when it comes to blowing his own trumpet, but was left playing a sad trombone on Tuesday night. The man who famously reminded Fabio Cannavaro and Patrick Vieira he’d won two Big Cups before asking “how many have you two won?” during […]

All that now remains is wheat. And a bit of chaff

NEXT STOP: RUSSIA Finally, it is over. After the months of speculation, tension and nerves, there is no more uncertainty. We know who is competing, who will have a golden chance at glory and associated marketing riches and who will be left, disappointed, at home. Now the experts can get on with analysing the contestants, […]